In high school, we all undergo a torment and turbulence of changing feelings, confusions, hormones, and psychological conflicts as we struggle with our becoming who we are. My mother used to tell me when I was upset about something I could not label or name, that, "Everyone is going through this feeling at your age..." And I hated hearing that. But she was absolutely right; I was simply so held up in my own struggle, but the point is, my own struggle is a personal, internal struggle. I cannot look to other examples, because I am within the confines of my own evolving mental and ontological arena. I believe the average fan (or Cult Follower) of Radiohead is someone stuck in that similar conflict of harnessing a wavelength he or she very much considers to be the first thing that ever happened in the history of the world, when really, and consequently, we all fall into the wavelength.
When reading about the personalities of Radiohead, I thought I discovered a group of people that spoke, acted, and thought like me, and conversed like me. I said to myself, 'Finally, evidence that someone out there can join me in the tension of the paradox of living via inner monologue passing into dialogue, the ADD stream of consciousness that involves the unpredictable juxtaposition of images and feelings and considerations, and everyone else will try to interpret the poetic musings of my mind when really there is only one statement to be made: disorder in the order, order in the disorder, and disorder in the order. All analytic dissections of my thoughts, or Radiohead's table conversations, or Radiohead's music, are silly and problematic as they all are in hindsight, and they all are never to understand the infinitesimal moment when the thought or note or key or lyric comes out.
And that is the connection I harvest. And that is the connection so many others harvest. We harvest together, yet I am the farmer of my own land, and I cannot see into any other land. Radiohead drags us with them, as their narrative search and introspective exploration parallels and mirrors ours. The paths might appear different, but the pace is the same, the obscurity in the curving of the road is the same, and the purpose is the same.
So why am I so not ready to accept such a connection with anyone else, but with Radiohead, the link is readily available? Perhaps Radiohead has the courage to truly express the angst and alienation. Or perhaps the language of alienation cannot come in the form of diary-like confessions but rather in the form of musical sound, sound that is spatial and curious and uncertain. Maybe the music of Radiohead represents the gaps in our language. Language has failed us. Language has failed to encompass everything we were designed to express. The strange compounds of sounds and words discovered by Radiohead are what we need to express alienation. And that is where the tension resides and the sense of non-belonging abounds.
I will not be surprised if my thoughts change, but this is my initial hunch.